Author: Personal ad

Philanthropy is my middle name. It's just a name though so don't be expecting any free rides. You can call me Mr Wallace. My first name is none of your business. Applications to box no. 9741.

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List your ten favourite albums… I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward thinking man, 35.

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Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.

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This advert is about as close as I come to meaningful interaction with other adults. Woman, 51. Not good at parties but tremendous breasts. Box no. 5436.

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Meet the new face of indoor bowling! More or less the same as the old face, but less facial hair and better teeth. M, 28. Box no. 3377.

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SEE WHAT HAPPENS, 22 yr old white male, 6’4”, 190 lbs, janitorial master, once cleaned 3 bathrooms in 20 minutes! Seeks 19 to 32 yr old female. Box 30940.

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Wanted: Hard working, experienced farm woman. Household and field work; know how to cook; must own tracter –- send photo of tractor.

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Blah blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Box ### Like I care.

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Personal Announcements: S. Paraskos and Helen Walker would like to announce that they are no longer engaged.
Engagement: S.Paraskos of Paphos, Cyprus, and Nicola Jared of UK would like to announce their engagement. – Cyprus Weekly

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My ideal woman is a man. Sorry, mother.

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My other car is a bike. Eco-friendly bio-diverse M (29). Smells a bit like soil and eats too much soup, but otherwise friendly (you're not seriously going to put that burger in your mouth, are you?).

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I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man

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Slut in the kitchen, chef in the bedroom. Woman with mixed priorities (37) seeks man who can toss a good salad.

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Save it. Anything you've got to say can be said to my lawyer. But if you're not my ex-wife, why not write to box no. 5377? I enjoy vodka, canasta, evenings in, and cold, cold revenge.

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They call me Mr Boombastic. You can call me Monty. My real name, however, is Quentin. But only Mother uses that. And Nanny. Monty is fine, though. Anything but Peg Leg (Shrewsbury Prep, 1956, 'Please don't make me do cross-country, sir'). Box no. 0473.

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Easygoing athletic SJM, 41, seeking SF, looks not important, must be tall, slim and attractive.

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You're a brunette, 6', long legs, 25-30, intelligent, articulate and drop-dead gorgeous. I, on the other hand, am 4'10", have the looks of Herve Villechaize and carry an odor of wheat. No returns and no refunds at box…

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Romance is dead. So is my mother. Man, 42, inherited wealth.

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They call me Naughty Lola. Run of the mill beardy physicist – male, 46.

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Unashamed triumphalist male for the past 46 years. Will I bore you? Probably. Do I care? Probably not.

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CHRISTIAN woman looking for Christian man partner who is sympathetic with woman who has mental illness and hears voices but is self controlled. Phone…

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