Author: A Murphy's Military Law

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't.

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take.

Surprise is an event that takes place only in the mind of a commander.

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

If the enemy is in range, so are you!

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

Don’t draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep

It isn't necessary to be an idiot to be a senior officer, but it sure helps.

Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be long

The one item you need is always in short supply.

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.