Author: Alan Bennett

You are 32, you are rapidly approaching the age when your body, whether it embarrasses you or not, begins to embarrass other people.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age Appearance Body

All women dress like their mothers, that is their tragedy; no man ever does, that is his.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

I’m all in favor of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Communication

The longer I practice medicine the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Clothing Doctors Health

If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arrangement.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Sports

If you live to be ninety in England and can still eat a boiled egg they think you deserve the Nobel Prize.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Age England Old Places

Brought up in the provinces in the forties and fifties one learned early the valuable lesson that life is generally something that happens elsewhere.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
History Time

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Insults

… when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humor, the writing is on the wall.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex