Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 3

If people wanted your unsolicited advice, they’d ask for it.

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Beliefs Opinion

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

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Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing!

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Fools Intelligence

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

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America Government Places Politics

A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!

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Appearance Body People

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

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Communication Intelligence Speech

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

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Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

If banks are so good with numbers, why are there always eight windows and three tellers?

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Places

A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!

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Body Situations

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

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Health Money

In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!

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Intelligence

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

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Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Most minds are like concrete… all mixed up and permanently set!

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Intelligence People

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

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Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Experience is what makes you pause briefly before going ahead and making the same mistake.

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Mistakes Problems Situations Time

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

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Death Money Time

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

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Government Money Taxes

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

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Government Money

All lawyers are cut from the same cloth: fleece.

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Crime Government Law Lawyers

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

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Husbands Marriage

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

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Crime Honesty Places World