Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 4

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Nepotism is when the corporate ladder is built from the lumber of your family tree.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

It's a good idea to save your money; one day it might be worth something again!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Many a good egg ends up getting beaten.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

It’s not the work that keeps most people from doing volunteer work, it’s the pay!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The suburbs are where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

If people wanted your unsolicited advice, they’d ask for it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

You know the honeymoon's over when your dog brings your slippers, and your wife barks at you!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

A lawyer is someone who writes a 40-page document and calls it a brief!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Who says nothing is impossible?… some people do it every day!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine













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