Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 4

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Ideas Intelligence

Fidelity : A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Marriage

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Presidency: The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Politics

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

Self-esteem: An erroneous appraisement.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Zeal: A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Young

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government Intelligence Politicians

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions Killing

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Fools

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Resolute: Obstinate in a course that we approve.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language