Author: Andy Van Slyke

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

They wanted me to play third like Brooks (Robinson) so I did play like Brooks — Mel Brooks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

baseball player
Baseball

You can't expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.

baseball player
Baseball Sports