Author Bea Arthur | Just-One-Liners.com

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Author: Bea Arthur

Maude: [Holding up her high school cheerleading sweater, which has an “M” on the front] I can remember when the “M” covered my whole chest.
Walter: Now, you have enough room to spell out “Massachusetts Institute of Technology”.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Maude Findlay: Walter, if you don’t want my daughter and my only grandchild living here with us just tell me.
Walter Findlay: And…?
Maude: And I’ll rip your heart out.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Dr. Arthur Harmon: [Looking at Maude’s black eye] If the Our Gang” comedies ever come back, you could be the dog.
Maude: And if Mister Ed ever comes back, there’d be a part for you. I’m not talking about the part that talks.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Maude: When he says wife, he means possession.
Walter: So what, Maude? You told me a hundred times you want to be possessed.
Maude: Walter Findlay, I never said that standing up and you know it.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Dr. Arthur Harmon: No offense Maudie, but I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.
Maude: No offense Arthur, but that’s the only way you’d ever touch me.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude Findlay in “Maude”

Still fighting mental health, eh, Archie?

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude in “All in the Family”

I invited Edith because I love her. And everywhere she goes, Archie goes. You know, like that Vaudeville act? There’s the front end of the horse, and then there’s Archie.

(1922 – 2009) American actress & singer

TV/Movie Quotes As Maude in “All in the Family”