Author: Betty White

[To Mary, upon entering her new apartment] I hope you’ll forgive me for not buying you a housewarming gift. I’m just waiting to see what you need most desperately. You’ve certainly left me an open field!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Gloria Munson: What do you think I should do for my first exercise?

Sue Ann: What about a headstand.

Gloria Munson: You mean, you just want me to stand on my head.

Sue Ann: No, I want to stand on your head.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

So I was jealous of her [her sister] when she was fourteen and I was nineteen. I’m sure it’ll be different now that we’re both thirty-five.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Mary: I was in bed.

Sue Ann: Oh, good. Then you’re alone!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown on Robert Redford.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

Snow always inspires such awe in me. Consider one tiny snowflake, so delicate, so fragile. And yet, let a billion or so come together through the majestic force of nature, and they can really screw up an entire city!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Sue Ann: I just love what you’ve done with your apartment, Mary!

Mary: But I haven’t done anything.

Sue Ann: I know. That took guts!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Murray: A woman is giving birth to a baby in Mary’s bedroom!

Sue Ann: I know! And it’s probably the most exciting thing that’ll ever happen in there!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Georgette: Why do people always send flowers when someone passes on?

Sue Ann: What would you suggest, dear – fruit?

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now or does her dress really need ironing?

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

I was lying in bed last night and I couldn’t sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Miscellaneous

Murray: Being fired is like being violated!

Sue Ann: Leave it to Murray to find a bright spot in all this.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Miscellaneous

Sue Ann: Mary, you’ve been in my bedroom before, haven’t you?

Mary: [looking around in amazement] Oh, no! I would’ve remembered this!

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes

Mary: Did you crash the men’s room?

Sue Ann: Of course not… I went as somebody’s guest.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
TV/Movie Quotes