Author: Billy Wilder

If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Honesty Killing Truth

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Appearance Body Insults Mind

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
People

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
People

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Speech

Shoot a few scenes out of focus; I want to win the foreign film award.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

I’ve met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Insults

What do you mean, heart attack? … You’ve got to have a heart before you can have an attack.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Health Insults

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you cannot tear the toilet paper.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Money Places

Inviting her to review one of your pictures is like inviting the Boston Strangler to massage your neck.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Insults

I would worship the ground you walk on, Audrey, if you only lived in a better neighborhood.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Speech

One day you are a signature, next day you’re an autograph.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Success

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics People

Associate producer: Anybody who’s prepared to associate with a producer.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Definitions

Inviting her to review one of your pictures is like inviting the Boston Strangler to massage your neck.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

A modern day Robin Hood, who steals from the rich and steals from the poor.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Insults

An actor enters through a door, you've got nothing; but if he enters through a window, you've got a situation.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Television

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Past Situations Time

He could do more with a closed door than other directors could do with an open fly.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that [Adolf Hitler] was a German and [Ludwig van Beethoven] an Austrian.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Places