Author Bob Hope | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Bob Hope Page 3

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Surprise me.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Last words Spoken to his wife when she asked where he wanted to be buried.

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Entertainment People Self

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Entertainment Self Performing

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Places Los Angeles

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Appearance Body Dance People Being a dance instructor Rumba

He rules the country with an iron fist – the same way he plays the piano.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government People President Harry Truman

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Golf Sports

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government Money Places Washington

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf People Sports On playing golf with President Eisenhower

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Beliefs Intelligence

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports On cheating in golf

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Characteristics Honesty People Politics Ronald Reagan

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Government Money Places Politics Washington

You still chase women, but only downhill.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Dating Old Birthdays On turning 70

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Appearance Body Fat Middle age

You never had to ask his score; just count the casualties.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports Spiro Agnew

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Characteristics Kissing Laziness

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports Labor leader George Meany

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Age Old

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Author: Bob Hope Page 3

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

Surprise me.

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

I’m from Los Angeles… I don’t trust any air I can’t see.

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

He rules the country with an iron fist – the same way he plays the piano.

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

You still chase women, but only downhill.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

You never had to ask his score; just count the casualties.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.