Author: Charles Barkley
Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Yeah… it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people in the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Cleveland is trying to win the championship and Detroit has one foot in Cancun.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality