Author: Denis Norden

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

What is a harp but an over-sized cheese-slicer with cultural pretensions?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Age

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good – we want it Tuesday.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

It's funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan, it's when you realize that your wife left you in May.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Sports

He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Characteristics People

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Autos Murphy’s Laws Things