Author: Dorothy Parker

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It is true that I paid it the tribute of tears, but that says nothing, for I am one who weeps at Victorian costumes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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