Author: Dorothy Parker

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly; it should be thrown with great force.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant – and let the air out of the tires.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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