Author: Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The play holds the season’s record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinée… by an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A lady… with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet