Author: Dorothy Parker

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It is true that I paid it the tribute of tears, but that says nothing, for I am one who weeps at Victorian costumes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This book of essays… has all the depth and glitter of a worn dime.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Good work, Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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