Author: Dorothy Parker

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He has a heart of gold… only harder.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This book of essays… has all the depth and glitter of a worn dime.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I went into the Plymouth Theater a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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