Author: Dorothy Parker

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Money cannot buy health, but I'll settle for a diamond studded wheelchair.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

“House Beautiful” is the play lousy.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This book of essays… has all the depth and glitter of a worn dime.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He has a heart of gold… only harder.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It is true that I paid it the tribute of tears, but that says nothing, for I am one who weeps at Victorian costumes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Four be the things I’d been better without;

love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet













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