Author: Dorothy Parker

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He has a heart of gold… only harder.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

There has been but one sweet, misty interlude in my [insomnia]; that was the evening I fell into a dead dreamless slumber brought on by the reading of a book called Appendicitis.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If you don't knit bring a good book.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This is on me.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

He’s a writer for the ages… for the ages of four to eight.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

The only thing I didn’t like about The Barretts of Wimpole Street was the play.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I wish you could have heard that pretty crash Beauty and the Beast made when, with one sweeping, liquid gesture, I tossed it out of my twelfth-story window.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
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