Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Dorothy Parker Page 2
If you don't knit bring a good book.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism
Theater
The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities
Sex
Travel
Ships
Outspoken? By whom?
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication
Speech
Talking
When told by a fellow guest that their hostess was outspoken
Where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Insults
On being told Clare Boothe Luce was always kind to her inferiors
I went to convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Situations
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities
Girls
People
School
Sex
Yale prom
Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Family
Mothers
Situations
Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places
Los Angeles
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death
Places
Judgment
Tombstone
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible, this was terrible with raisins in it.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Age
Upon her 50th birthday
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Friends
People
Sex
Four be the things I’d been better without;
love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Things
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Hangover
The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Hollywood
Places
Plagiarism
Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism
Wordplay
Of the writer
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics
Communication
Reading/Writing
Truth
An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools
Intelligence
The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication
Language
Beautiful words
Check
English language
A lady… with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism
Tell him I’ve been too f**king busy – or vice versa.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities
Sex
Situations
Time
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication
Insults
Intelligence
Sex
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