Author: Doug Larson

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.


(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist













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