Author: Elbert Hubbard

Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

When a feller says, ‘It hain’t the money, but the principle o’ th’ thing’, it’s the money.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Life is just one damned thing after another.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

A conservative is one who is opposed to the things he is in favor of.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Miracle: An event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it.  

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Man is Creation’s masterpiece; but who says so?

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Righteous indignation: Your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher