Author: Ellen DeGeneres

What would bug a guy from the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
People Self

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Emotions People Self

I like my coffee like I like my men… I don’t drink coffee.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Relationships

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Food/Drink

Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Beliefs

I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from… you heterosexuals.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Family Relationships

I really don’t think I need buns of steel; I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Appearance Body

Accept who you are… unless you’re a serial killer.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
People Self

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Autos Driving Intelligence Things

Tom Bergeron: Ellen, true or false… the state of Virginia was named after a reputed virgin.

Ellen Degeneres: Well, if that is true, what does that say about Idaho?

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Hollywood Squares