Author: Fran Lebowitz

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

My favorite animal is steak.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer – not a book.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

All God’s children are not beautiful; most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Bread that is sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

To the French, lying is simply talking.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs; that way, they hear it more than once.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Sleep is death without the responsibility.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
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