Author: Fran Lebowitz Page 2

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

Sleep is death without the responsibility.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Sleep

To the French, lying is simply talking.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lies People Places

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Children Family

All God’s children are not beautiful; most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance People

If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Art Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

London: A place you go to get bronchitis.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Definitions Health Places

My favorite animal is steak.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Animals Food/Drink

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Success

I am not… totally unreceptive to color providing it makes its appearance quietly, deferentially, and without undue fanfare.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance

Bread that is sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

You’re only has good as your last haircut.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Appearance

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Eating Food/Drink Money

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
New York City People Places

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Children

I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs; that way, they hear it more than once.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Speech

Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Children Games

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Activities Games

There is no such thing as inner peace; there is only nervousness and death.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Death

Polite conversation is rarely either.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Conversation Speech

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics