Author: George Bernard Shaw

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

My way of joking is to tell the truth.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

My mother married a very good man… and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

His idea of getting hold of the right end of the stick is to snatch it from the hands of somebody who is using it effectively, and to hit him over the head with it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything; that points clearly to a political career.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist