Author: George Bernard Shaw

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Alcohol… enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

We learn from experience that men never learn from experience.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

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