Author: George Bernard Shaw

Alcohol… enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist