Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 2

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Virtue is insufficient temptation.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything; that points clearly to a political career.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

His idea of getting hold of the right end of the stick is to snatch it from the hands of somebody who is using it effectively, and to hit him over the head with it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? … If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist