Author: Norm

Coach: What’s your most troublesome problem, Norm?

Norm: Well that’s tough to say, Coach. Let’s see I’m overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. My problem is I’ve never been happier.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to them anymore.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: Beer, Norm?

Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: How’s life treating you Norm?

Norm: Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Alright, but stop me at one… make that one-thirty.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: Norm: you’re in here every night, doesn’t your wife ever wonder where you’re at?

Norm: Wonders… doesn’t care… but she wonders.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Cliff: [to Eric] We swear not a word you say will ever go beyond this room.

Norm: We never go beyond this room.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s the story Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let’s cut to the happy ending.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?

Another layer for the winter, Woody.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Science is seeking a cure for thirst and I happen to be the guinea pig.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: How you doing, Norm?

Norm: Coach: I’m on top of the world… it’s a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: Would you like a beer, Norm?

Norm: I’d like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Sam: What’s the story Norm?

Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: What’s the story, Norm?

Norm: A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: How’s it going Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Poor.
Woody: I’m sorry to hear that.
Norm: No, I mean pour.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Hey I’m high on life, Coach… of course, beer is my life.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Woody: What’s going on Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor

Coach: Beer, Normie?

Norm: Coach: I don’t know. I’ll have one next week… what the heck, I’m young.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor