Author: Helen Rowland

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her, when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Understanding

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People Relationships

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage People Women

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sex

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Happiness Love People Women

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Wives

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil; she wants to see what she is getting.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature; and another woman to help him forget them.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Intelligence Memory Men People Women