Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Homer Simpson Page 3
My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Animals
TV/Movie Quotes
There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Self
TV/Movie Quotes
Emptiness
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
Speech
Listening
Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Death
TV/Movie Quotes
If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Gluttony
Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Facts
All right, brain, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
People
Self
TV/Movie Quotes
Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it's what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Situations
TV/Movie Quotes
We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole,
and
the pudding cup.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Dolphins
Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Children
Television
TV/Movie Quotes
I'd love to go to church, Honey, but I've got a lot of work to do around the bed.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Church
I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Marge, you can't keep blaming yourself; just blame yourself once, then move on.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Blame
I want to be alone with my thought.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
Thinking
Thoughts
Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Guns
If you really want something in life you have to work for it; now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Work
Lottery
The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Communication
TV/Movie Quotes
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence
TV/Movie Quotes
Understanding
Apathy
Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
Self
TV/Movie Quotes
Apologize
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
Homer Simpson
cartoon character in
The Simpsons
(Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes
Work
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