Author: Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y’all watch this!”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you have a rag for a gas cap.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you go to the family reunion to meet women.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality