Author: Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if… you think Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever had to scratch your sister's name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call…"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your on your first date you had to ask your dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've painted a car with house paint.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your family tree doesn’t fork.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as, “the day my ship came in.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, ‘holds 6-12 pounds’ they’re not kidding!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
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