Author: Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you have a rag for a gas cap.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

If your son's name is Dale Jr. and your name's not Dale… you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your the tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y’all watch this!”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin’ contest.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your last year you hid yer kids' Easter eggs under cow pies.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your grandfather died and left everything to his widow; but she can’t touch it until she's fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you've been on television more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality













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