Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 3
You might be a redneck if… your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Divorce
Marriage
People
Rednecks
Relationships
You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer
People
Rednecks
Church
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Insults
Wives
On the freezing temperature of his wife's feet and rear end in bed
You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict
People
Rednecks
Relationships
Funerals
You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Taxidermist
Telephone
You might be a redneck if… you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Things
Bathroom fixture
Front yard
You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Mobile homes
Wide Load
You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos
Education
Money
People
Pickup trucks
You might be a redneck if… you have more belt-buckles than pants.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance
Clothing
People
Rednecks
Belt-buckles
Pants
You might be a redneck if… your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Wives
Ceiling fan
Hairdo
You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment
Intelligence
People
Rednecks
Television
Hee Haw
You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Relationships
Brother-in-law
Grandfathers
You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education
People
Rednecks
School
Senior year
You might be a redneck if… Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Chewing tobacco
Christmas
You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals
Children
Dogs
Family
People
Rednecks
You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever had to scratch your sister's name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call…"
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Relationships
Sisters
You might be a redneck if… you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Things
Bottle caps
Front door
You might be a redneck if… you think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Food/Drink
People
Rednecks
Soup
Turtleneck
You might be a redneck if… you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People
Rednecks
Things
Outhouses
You might be a redneck if… you have used a bar stool as a walker.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Health
People
Bar stools
Walkers
You might be a redneck if… you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
Jeff Foxworthy
(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals
Dogs
People
Trees
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