Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 4

You might be a redneck if… you have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

You might be a redneck if… you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

You might be a redneck if… you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your last year you hid yer kids' Easter eggs under cow pies.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

You might be a redneck if… you've ever heard the phrase "come and move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your dad’s cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family Fathers People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you have more belt-buckles than pants.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Food/Drink Places

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks