Author: Jeff Foxworthy Page 5

You might be a redneck if… your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Children People

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Insults Wives

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

You might be a redneck if… your the tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you smoked during your wedding.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Marriage People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you own a homemade fur coat.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions Family Happiness Mothers

You might be a redneck if… you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Money People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs Situations

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives