Author: John Barrymore
Die… I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
Brides aren’t happy – they are triumphant.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
Sex: The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
My wife was too beautiful for words… but not for arguments.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone… but sometimes it is a great relief.
(1882 – 1942) American actor
You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.
(1882 – 1942) American actor