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Author: Josh Billings
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Appearance
Insults
Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Life
Misery
As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
God
Intelligence
Wisdom
Luck
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs
Situations
Praying
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools
Intelligence
Rascal
It ain’t what a man don’t know that makes him a fool, but what he
does
know that ain’t so.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools
Intelligence
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication
Language
Words
Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals
Dogs
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools
Intelligence
Life
Money
Fun
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age
Old
Success
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is sea-sickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Pride
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions
Happiness
Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs
Characteristics
Opinion
Advice
Castor oil
Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Intelligence
Follies
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Family
Women
Authority
Pants
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs
Honesty
Lies
Devil
It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals
Intelligence
Wisdom
Experience
Snakes
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Time
Repent
Sin
Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence
Money
Genius
Poverty
It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money
Time
Reputations
To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Good
Reputation
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