Author: Josh Billings

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is sea-sickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It ain’t what a man don’t know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain’t so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and give it to him.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

(1818 – 1885) humorist













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