Author: Josh Billings Page 3

About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is… the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It ain’t what a man don’t know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain’t so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Love looks through a telescope, envy through a microscope.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that’s lost – he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

(1818 – 1885) humorist