Author: Lenny Bruce

Guys are like dogs… they keep coming back… ladies are like cats; yell at a cat one time… they’re gone.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Men People Women

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs People Understanding

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government Law

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Family Relationships Sex

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Age Young

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Education School

Communism is like one big phone company.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Government

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs God Religion

We used to write essays like: “What I'm going to be if I grow up.”

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Places

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Activities