Author: Leslie Nielsen

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?

Lt. Frank Drebin: Well… it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Looks like the cows have come home to roost.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Mixed metaphors TV/Movie Quotes

I’m sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn’t that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans; but this is our hill… and these are our beans!

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Life TV/Movie Quotes

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

You take a chance getting up in every morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Dutch Gunderson: Who are you and how did you get in here?

Drebin: I’m a locksmith. And, I’m a locksmith.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Work

Drebin: Do you think you can beat the champ?

Briggs: I can take him blindfolded.

Drebin: What if he’s not blindfolded?

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Ed Hocken: I sent the note to the lab. They’re demanding one million dollars.

Drebin: Why would the lab demand a million dollars?

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

It took me two weeks to find Stella’s apartment. She had neglected to give me her address.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I like my sex the way I play basketball, one-on-one with as little dribbling as possible.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

By the way, I faked every orgasm!

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

We’re sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Golf Sports

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious?
Dr. Rumack I am serious… and don’t all me Shirley.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Truth hurts… maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing… but it hurts.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Truth TV/Movie Quotes

Banquet doorman: Your coat, sir?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Yes, it is. And I have a receipt to prove it.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Situations TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve finally found someone I can love – a good, clean love… without utensils.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
TV/Movie Quotes