Author: Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication Emotions Love Speech

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Beliefs Communication God Health Speech

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Entertainment Ideas Music

I can take reality in small doses, but not as a life style.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life

If I had known what it would be like to have it all… I might have been willing to settle for less.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Activities Drugs

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working honest Americans; it’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity… but then – we elected them.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Government Politicians

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life Problems

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Life

No matter how cynical you get, it’s impossible to keep up.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success World

What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Golf Sports

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics Work

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication

What goes up must come down… but don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Science/Weather

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Death

It‘s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication Language