Author: Mark Twain Page 4

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People Self Success

Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Proverbs Situations

Switzerland is simply a large humpy, solid rock, with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly; I said I don’t know.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Individuals People Situations

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Intelligence Science/Weather

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen… I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Ugly

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Intelligence Memory

If the thermometer had been an inch longer we’d all have frozen to death.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Science/Weather Situations

He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Language Mind

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite — but they all worship money.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning