Author: Mark Twain Page 5

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Eating Fights Food/Drink Life Success

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

Invest in inflation… it’s the only thing going up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Age Individuals People

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Religion

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language

To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs People

None but the dead have free speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Speech

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Crime Government Money

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Be good and you will be lonely.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Speech Time