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Author: Mark Twain Page 8
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Language
Past
Time
Rhymes
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Indecision
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Age
Individuals
People
Optimist
Pessimists
Education: The path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education
Intelligence
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death
Approval
Funerals
Letters
I was born lazy; I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Work
Laziness
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Speech
Time
Impromptu
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Money
Principle
Prosperity
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Facts
Miracles
When angry count four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
Emotions
Speech
Angry
Count
Swear
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Opinion
Principles
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Emotions
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Characteristics
Facts
Science/Weather
Statistics
Stubborness
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities
Exercise
Sleep
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Intelligence
Religion
Bible
Scripture
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Honesty
Life
Situations
Terrible things
Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health
Intelligence
Colds
Germs
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems
Digging
He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults
The first act occupied three hours… I enjoyed that in spite of the singing.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism
Of Wagner’s opera Parisfal
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Sex
Heaven
Page 8 of 9
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