Quotes and One Liners
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Author: Mark Twain Page 9
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Speech
Time
Impromptu
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Family
Good Breeding
Manners
Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals
Beliefs
Characteristics
Dogs
Favor
Heaven
Merit
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People
Noah
When angry count four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
Emotions
Speech
Angry
Count
Swear
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death
Intelligence
Memory
Mad
Mysteries
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People
Cattle
Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books
Communication
Reviews/Criticism
Jane Austen
Libraries
Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
People
Places
Foreigners
Spelling
The penis mightier than the sword.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
Wordplay
Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Communication
Language
Lies
Carlyle
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance
Insults
Personality
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