Author: H.L. Mencken

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later, and for another thing, they die earlier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail and if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist













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