Author: Noel Coward

The higher the building the lower the morals.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

For God's sake, go and tell that young man to take that Rockingham tea service out of his tights.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

If they'd stuffed the child's head up the horse's arse, they would have solved two problems at once.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Two things should be cut – the second act and the child's throat.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Like watching an affair between a mad rocking-horse and a rawhide suitcase.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Literary diarrhea.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

She took her curtain calls as though she has just been un-nailed from the cross.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter