Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Paul Lynde Page 7
Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called
The Things I…?
Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous
Peter Marshall: You’re on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why? Paul Lynde: It was a long plane ride.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Playboy Magazine recently published a book by billionaire J. Paul Getty called, “How To …” How to what?Paul Lynde: How To Treat Oily Skin.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, the Rio Grande River separates Texas and Mexico. What does “Rio Grande” mean in Spanish?Paul Lynde: El Washing Machine.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?Paul Lynde: An engagement ring.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene? Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn’t have the right part?
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?
Paul Lynde: In the saddle.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous
Peter Marshall: Can you get 12 pounds of feathers out of a goose? Paul Lynde: I got them in there, didn’t I?
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: President Washington once said quote “I would rather be in my grave than in…” what?Paul Lynde: Grant’s tomb.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: The Great White is one of the most feared animals. What is the Great White?Paul Lynde: A sheriff in Alabama.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Which performing team were the stars of Ed Sullivan’s first TV show? Paul Lynde: Aretha and Benjamin Franklin.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for…. Paul Lynde: A dump truck.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Your date’s had a great shock, now she’s fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What? Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: During the 18th century it was common for a bride to sell something at her wedding reception to help pay for the cost of the wedding. What did she sell?Paul Lynde: Her first born.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Henry Kissinger was recently quoted as saying, “They aren’t even sexy!” Who was he referring to?Paul Lynde: The Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
Apartment Life
magazine, can you tell anything significant about the personality of a person whose apartment has brown carpeting, brown furniture and brown walls?Paul Lynde: Yes, their maid just exploded.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Is it normal for Norwegians to talk to trees?Paul Lynde: As long as that’s as far as it goes.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, according to the
World Book Encyclopedia,
what is the main reason dogs pant?Paul Lynde: Because they can’t talk dirty!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Page 7 of 13
« First
« Previous
5
6
7
8
9
Next »
Last »