Author: Peter Cook

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Government Law

Neither am I.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books Communication Insults

Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient… that is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Sports

I had to pull him out, otherwise nobody would have believed I didn’t push him in.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Insults

… being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go… well, the very opposite applies with judges.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Occupations Work

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Science/Weather

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Beliefs

You know, I go to the theatre to be entertained… I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction… I can get all that at home.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Entertainment