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Author: Richard Lewis Page 2
My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Depression
Home movies
Joy
During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People
Self
Sex
Dealing with joy sometimes is more difficult than overcoming adversity if you enjoy self-loathng as a hobby.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Joy
As a child my parents said they believed in Santa Claus but that I didn’t exist.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Family
Parents
At home now, I have cough medicine on tap.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health
Hypochondria
Medicine
She said that after we had intercourse, I gave her an anti-climax.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex
Climax
Orgasm
This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Smile
I wrote my nightmares out this afternoon so I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities
Sleep
Dreams
Nightmares
My family wasn’t very religious; on Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs
Religion
Hanukkah
Menorah
I tried phone sex and got an ear infection.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health
Sex
Telephone
On New Year’s Eve, people in New Jersey stay up ‘til midnight and watch their hopes drop.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Places
New Jersey
If there is reincarnation and I come back as myself, I’ll kill myself.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Self
Reincarnation
I never give advice – I give warnings to live by.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs
Advice
This greasy spoon restaurant was so bad, on the menu there were even flies in the pictures.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Food/Drink
Greasy spoon restaurant
It’s stressful being a hypochondriac. In my home I have a walk-in medicine chest.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health
Hypochondria
I’ll take a vacation if I
don’t
go.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities
Vacation
My shrink told me that my happiness was stress related.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Self
Stress
I’m trying to drop an asshole a day from my life and doing the math I’ll be done in the year 3011.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People
My grandfather used to make home movies and edit out the joy.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions
Family
Happiness
Joy
The best tip for insomnia for me is not trying to sleep.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities
Sleep
Insomnia
This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.
Richard Lewis
(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health
Smile
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