Author Ron Luciano | Just-One-Liners.com

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Author: Ron Luciano

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Minor leagues Umpires

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Umpires

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game; home is where the heartache is.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Heaven Umpires

I’ve got a face made for radio.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Appearance Baseball Sports After failing as an NBC commentator

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is… well, an umpire.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports Umpires

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Height On manager Earl Weaver

One reason I never called balks is that I never understood the rule.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire

Baseball Sports Balks