Author: Rose Marie

John Davidson: An editor of The Youth’s Companion wrote this and you’ve probably said this hundreds of times. What?

Rose Marie: Your place or mine!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to police, if you are being molested, other than yelling, “Help!,” what is the best thing to scream?

Rose Marie: More!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: True or false… most personal physical attacks are never reported to police.

Rose Marie: No, I just put them in my diary.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to beauty experts, you put some egg white on your face, leave it on for two minutes, and then rinse with cool water. If you've been successful, what's gone?

Rose Marie: The egg white.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: Is it okay to freeze mushrooms?

Rose Marie: What else do I have to do, Pete? 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

John Davidson: What’s the worst thing to have around the house?

Rose Marie: Vacuum cleaners! 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: Way back in 1256, a philosopher and monk named Roger Bacon took 41.2 percent salt peter, and 29.4 each of sulfur and carbon, and came up with the modern version of something… what?

Rose Marie: Army food.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married?

Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, nothing will make a young teenage couple stay together as much as when their parents do something. Do what?

Rose Marie: When they go away for the weekend. When they’re left alone, they have a ball.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: True or false… the biggest problem couples face in marriage is having sex.

Rose Marie: No, that’s the second biggest problem.  The biggest problem is no sex. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall:  According to experts, is it ever a good idea to sleep with the window open?

Rose Marie: I won’t say what I sleep with!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Parade magazine, on what night of the week is a woman most likely to be molested?

Rose Marie: With my luck it’s tonight and I’m working.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: True or false… most people’s attitudes toward strangers is, “Don’t get too close to me, I prefer to keep you at arm’s length!” [loud horn sounds to signify end the show]

Rose Marie: That’s my opinion!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, there is only one thing that can satisfy your deepest longings. What?

Rose Marie: You want names or just…?

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?

Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter…and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping, how many years is the life expectancy of your lingerie?

Rose Marie: If you’re talking about wear and tear, mine will last forever. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: You’re a shy, bashful girl. According to Cosmo, will you probably be helped in overcoming your shyness by choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband?

Rose Marie: Gosh, Pete, I did that once and his wife caught us.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: True or false… you can get a camel to be more cooperative by giving it tobacco and perfume.

Rose Marie: You can get an awful lot out of me that way! 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: According to the famous children's story, why did Goldilocks refuse the porridge of the great big bear?

Rose Marie: Probably Vincent (Price) was playing the part, and he cooked it.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian